The older my boys get the worst is starting to come out of me when it comes to parenting, mainly, yelling at my kids. I have been aware of it over the last couple of years but when I yelled at Josiah the other night I knew I had to start working on this horrible weakness. I've read articles, been challenged by Bible verses about dealing with anger, etc... and they have prompted me to feel guilty, but I haven't changed.I can't even remember what JT did, but I remember what I said and how he responded.
After I yelled at him he stopped what he was doing. But then he dropped his head, sprouted the pouty lip and sunk to the ground in despair. He started crying. I stood there numb. Time stood still. Tons of thoughts flooding my mind. Not enough time to share it today, but the point of this entry is to say I am grateful Josiah gave me a hug after I apologized and I am grateful that the grace of God is working in my heart and I am looking forward to growing in this area in 2006.
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2 comments:
Bro! Keep blogging on this one! I struggle so much! My issue is not that I'm usually so angry, but that THEY CAN'T HEAR! I hate yelling, but they finally pay attention! But I don't like it. Not sure how to handle it all!
I wish I had some advice for you, but I was a miserable failure in this area. Just ask my daughter. It still brings tears to my eyes when I think of how awful I was. I always apologized, but I wish I had never done it in the first place. What made it worse was that my mother had done it to me and I hated it so much, I swore I would never do it to my kids. I guess we imitate what was modeled for us even when we don't like it.
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